Word one
re·mem·ber [ri-mem-ber]
"to recall to the mind by an act or effort of memory; think of again:"
"to retain in the memory; keep in mind; remain aware of:"
A simple word, with resounding and widening implications the further into it I intention myself. pressed and shoved away from familiar, not the familiar of day to day, that is lost; but the familiar of the who that the day to day was spent on. Pressed and shoved by the distortion of distance, the darkness of hurt, and empty answers that will never provide even the elusion of peace. And all of this has the potential to become a labyrinth written in hopelessness. And the lie... the lie allows the circumstance to redefine the "who" into something else, someone foreign and never seen before. the lie; it tries to destroy, not the person, the person is untouched by the lie, it belongs to the lie holder. The destruction of the "Who" in the eye of the lied too promises to avenge the circumstance: To pain for pain. To word itself around in an attempt to answer; "why." To remember is to remember who the who was when you did see them. And if the "who" was a "loved;" than likely you know the "who" better than the lie anyway. The intentionality of "remember" is the cain in the blind dark to still feel your way around when your no longer allowed to see. To remember the who, and not see with the eyes of the lie, which are the only glasses you have now... so shut your eyes, remember your room even in the dark. Let the memory of the space now guide you without the use of your eyes. And while your eyes are closed use the time to pray for the who that you remember in the familiar. Because the "who" being of the "loved" gives me a deeper understanding to take to prayer than the passerby, The distant or the occasional don't know the who better than you know the who. there is likely only one who does. Therefore the potential is there for specific prayer for the very who of the who that no one else understands but you. And so you can be, on the knee, for the who.
Second word
... not as personal, not as vague, not circumstantial or individual. But just as true, just as heavy.... just as much a choice as "remember" this one is:
for·give [fer-giv]
"to give up all claim on account of"
As much choice as remembering, to let go of thoughts and phrases that have been given you. the things that bend you in half, steal your breath, loose your appetite and sleep. It doesn't decline that these are there, that this all happens, and still will. But it changes the person that chooses it, and changes how they see the one who its chosen for. that no matter how many days are spent on the floor, how many times breathing stops. they are never treated or seen differently. not by naïvety or ignorance, not to ignore the hurt. That wont pull a punch or soften a word. It excepts itself as unfair and next time it'll except it again.
And for either of these two words to have their own integrity, they cant be conditional. they cant be shelf-life'd. And they aren't written here for an invitation, because they're both just as true if no audience is ever, from here forward, permitted. For their reason is not for the loved, but for the chooser himself; to honor the loved. by being a better self than has been before, in similar acts of similar plays. This is the decision which begs for the courage and strength to be as is decided. The fortitude of the moment to close the eyes and "remember" today... and then do it all over again tomorrow
