[This is a true story, I just don't remember the names] There was once a wealthy and successful CEO; he's a strong leader, someone not just willing but capable of driving and growing those around him. He had a young executive of whom he saw much potential and so entrusted him with a large account giving him opportunity to grow, and show that he did indeed have the capabilities that others saw in him. Now I wish I could tell you that he invested time and creativity wisely causing the clients account to be beneficial, not just to his clients needs but also to his boss who risked allot to give him this opportunity. No, he indeed failed epically, to the sum of over a million dolor loss to his firm and the loss of a large contract. The CEO called him into his office; the young executive arrived presenting himself as a disappointment, understanding the repercussions of optimism carried on without wisdom. And at the end of his well rehearsed speech expresses that he will go start clearing out his office. At this end the CEO chimes in:
"why would you do a thing like that?"
"well I kinda assumed...." But before he could finish his thought, he was interrupted:
"why would I desire for you to work for anybody but me" The CEO said, interrupting his monologue. "I just payed over a million dollars for your education, and I don't want my new investment working for anyone but me!"
I think its safe to say that this CEO has a unique perspective. I don't know that there are many that would react this way to such news. Because most of us go through life more like the young executive. The CEO cared more for who the young man was than what he did. And before you go on thinking what a neat uplifting story this is, think about what that means to the CEO, to be this kind of man means great loss to himself and many around him. And while I think all of us would sign up to be in the shoes of the young executive, I don't think many of us would like to be a colleague of his, now forced to shoulder the brunt of his failures. And while it's tempting to imagine yourself as a CEO in general, but especially one with that type of nobility; I think in reality few if any of us would ever be that guy, having to put up with certain loss and propensity for people to try and take advantage of you as the price for character. You see we all want to BE that kind of person, but the reason that we are just simply not there now is this; simply its hard, If character were easy or even natural to who we are, we would have no value for it. And we would certainly see more of it. Hell we'd be tripping over it everyday. But the simple truth is that it sucks to BE this person; it takes work and it takes pain. Most of which will never be seen, and even less than is seen will be appreciated.
Most of us go about life as the young executive intended to; wiping the slate clean, and trying to start over somewhere else. And because it is who we all are, we allow it in each other as well, because it just makes sense to us.
To be fare, this isn't some delusion we have. For this young executive to clear out his office may suck for a day, but he will get a new job. And the people he will find himself around will see him with promise again. You see opinion and trust are things we inherently give when we first meet one another. Not in full measure mind you, but in a new place he will be given the benefit of the doubt to prove himself. By staying where he's at will take more work for the same reputation he could have elsewhere next week. And with no guarantee that he will even get it in the end, certainly not with everybody. He will have to prove himself again, and he will have to live the next while under the wait of his failure.
Maybe not as observed in our own lives what it would mean to BE more like the CEO than the young executive. But to ourselves it seems that is our natural compulsion to seek a clean slate, a fresh start; full of possibility and promise, rather than suffer through failure. And so when we fail at starting a business we shrug it off and go back to work with the boss you hate. When your marriage or relationship is struggling, it seems the only option you have is to quit, and maybe some day you can get another try with someone else. And yes, we do grow in all those experiences, I'm not trying to say that we are doomed to repeat our failures, my cynical nature wants me to say "usually, but not always." You see the truth is that you actually do have a shot at retirement if you go back to work for so and so. You probably do have a chance for happiness in your next marriage. Especially knowing what you know now. You see, these things are true, and because they are, our tendency is to use them to validate our decisions. Truth leads to truth right? No, I propose that injustice is not a vehicle for right.
A life of these means turns people into commodities and focuses more on actions than the value of people. Your path to a fresh start devalues those who helped "pay for your education" in the first place. They are left with the consequences of who you chose to be in their lives, while others get to enjoy having "who you are now" around and in their lives. This time around your going to be a better employee, while your old employer cleans up your mess. You have a chance to be a "better father this time around," while your "other" kid grows up not knowing you at all. You can be a better husband/wife this time. A better boyfriend/girlfriend. A better Friend. While those you crush to help you become that put your failure in their self reflection and worth. But the biggest cadaver I see is the lost attribute of loyalty, cause lets face it, we all desire deep in our souls loyalty in those close to us. Leaving loyalty on the alter of what's easy; and the people I do value are no longer treated by how much I value them. Circumstances become impossible now because we no longer see the value of personhood. And with few exceptions; if we see circumstance as the driving force, than we no longer value people. We loose touch with our own character choosing instead cowardice in the place were courage once had its place in us. False Piety perceives the easiest things as the "right" things causing all of us to sacrifice some of our value as people.
And I wish I could be one to say that injustice will cry for our defense. But the reality is that their better job, better marriage, new family or whatever else this looks like will probably be better, and who of us would ever go back. No, the investments of our pasts will likely pay for each others better futures. We'll never get a return out of our investments in each others character. This is the saddest thing I've seen under the sun, this is my Ecclesiastes. And this too is meaningless.
