Thoughts from 32thousand feet,

        I want to propose an idea, something I was thinking about the other day about churches. I hear different things from many small, usually old (in this case for sure, you’ll see why in a minute) churches. Every church as it gets a generation or two from its inception has a tension in it to stay contemporary, applicable to a world and culture that is changing all around them. There are some different ways to strategies away this tension: Youth specific (isolated) programs, Adding a “contemporary” service to your weekend. Some hire a new pastor to help the church “stay relevant,” Some take off their tie’s (those of us with no vertically distinguishable neck thank you) Maybe start wearing their Levi’s to church. Some change the music styles, or the church logo in the bulletin. Updated a web site lately anyone? Add a website for the first time, maybe?(welcome to 1990 btw) One popular way is to start adding into every sermon how far corrupt the world is, and is taking every church, except that one of course, away from the right path.
        I’m a musician, and work heavily with churches. I’ve turned down a few positions of churches looking for a worship pastor (my bank account thinks those were all stupid things to turn down, but oh well) I turned these down not because I don’t like the idea of being a worship pastor, what musician doesn’t want a salary gig holding a guitar, where you don’t have to say, “Welcome to guitar center” every day? I turned them down because I sensed that I was being hired as an agent of change in their church. I was the push that was going to move their congregation to at least 1995 standards (modern was a far cry from possible really) I’ve seen this method used before, with some unfortunate success. Because what usually happens is, a split in the church, some people resist the change and are either left to complain or vacate.
        The question I want to pose in all this, and sorry its taken so long to get to this part, is; Why is our goal to sustain a church? there is a famous “fundy” pastor that brags often how his church is something like 123 years old, and hasn’t changed the way they do church since its founding. (*Claps hands)... “well good for you “Pastor Schaap”...oh my bad was that supposed to be “Reverend Schaap?” I never remember.
        Why is our biggest goal to make a church last a long time? Is that the point of a church, just to be around for a long time? To be traditionalists? When I look at this from the 32,000 foot view, I don’t see churches dying out as a bad thing, maybe its even a beautiful thing. “Do you even love Jesus?” you ask.
So here’s the idea that I want to throw out there for people to chew on. A group of Christians plant a church, they hire a pastor, and start “doing church” whatever flavor they prefer. (not universalism, just preferences) Many of their friendships are centered there, their kids are raised there. The pastor walks them through their lives, shepherding them as newlyweds, a young family, a “mature” adult, all they way to gray old and dead. The pastor in his youth went through, and did life with you. Matured in his role along with you. The church then dies with its members as their lives come to a close. Not a sad story, the church has a life much liken to its own members. And overlapping this story is a near identical tail of a church planted by their children one generation behind the chapters of this story. The churches may look as different as the generations themselves look at a family reunion. Are they so dissimilar? Can they be seen as the same thing still? Why should we fight for grandma to ware toms and learn to Dougie? Why subject your kids to the beauty and reverence of boredom and wooden pews? Things you love in church your allowed to love! Don’t miss that. Your culture exists strongly for you. And thats ok to bring into your church and express your worship through to the same God that I do. Feel free to express some feedback below, I’de like to know what people think...

Someone tell Rob Bell... this preacher found where hell is

Updating perhaps? lol (couldn't resist)

I speculate if this was for a youth gathering or something. Thinking what it would be like to be a high schooler in that crowd as they become "culturally relevant" ... I don't really know what this video was from so I'll just let it speak simply for itself I suppose...Enjoy!

New wonder drug...? ROFL

*WARNING* may cause near sided ness. Pew rash, homophobia, arrogance or hypocrisy. May cure some forms of audible swearing, but will lock hair and clothing styles in the early 90′s. Some extreme cases may result in mayrterdome, rolling eyes or Homeschooling.

Another Pastors Music Rant

Overdue thoughts from last week

One of the things that strikes me about the fundy culture even still is the weight they place on all the things that'll bring down a fortress. The heavy imparitive on how close we are to total failure with God. I think this all stems from great intent wanting to please God. I see so much of the Marry/Martha conundrum. Striving so so hard to serve and please God that they forget to enjoy him and just love him. 

They've created such a drastic black and white strain where tension is not a force of grace. But a sign of failure. Any tinge of worm water is ike arsnic in their glass,Instead of a guide to throw in an ice cube.

The Price of Chocolate

Unrealistic expectations between guys and girls pop up as soon as the two sex's start realizing that they are different from one another. (wait?! they are?? ...revolutionary I know, just go with it for now) I'm not the first to point this out. A lot has been said of how girls are often hurt and left insecure by men in their lives treating them a certain way due to unrealistic expectations placed on them. Guys are wired dominantly physically, as the focal point in their attractions. Granted this has ben undeniably abused, however christian social overcorrection has given this a solely bad rep I think; Tinted as if every guy is shallow and superficial. I fully believe that a guys physically focused effectual bent is an incredibly good thing! Unfortunatially, were to prone to focus on the ways it has been exercised out of the context of its designers intent! But as men, our physical expectations of the woman in our lives is for to easily defined by the media and social climate. Until subtly we find ourselves with the expectation that we deserve a girl that looks like one we fancy from media or imagination. And of course in our limited forethought she will never age, "swell" or droop. Subconsciencely this starts defining how we characterize the woman in our lives since the physical is how we are wired its how we respond in the misconceptions we live in. And like I said; I'm not the first to point this out, this is commonly taught, and rightly so!
In the same way that guys place unwarranted expectations on woman physically; Woman emotionally characterize men based on similar unrealistic expectations in their own hearts. In an effort to be slightly less abrasive, I will concede the fact that its easier to see the problem of unrealistic physical expectations than unrealistic emotional expectations. Not only is the physical just naturally easier to see, but the response from the girls side is typically shaded with a spiritual clout and therefore given a pass like a lagitemite trump card ending any legitimate review. I understand and fully support people waiting for the right person and not "settling." But what I find happening is that there are many girls in the church who are waiting for God to part clouds, cue the choir, and drop a six foot four olympian built figure with great hair in front of her. The kind of guy who doesn't relinquish his well worn study bible from his hand to play with children... and of course you always see him playing with children. Something tells me that even if this were to happen, God will have to audibly say the guys name and forge the ring himself before a girl is satisfied to make a solid choice. A little over the top? perhaps...

I heard Jon Acuff ("Stuff Christians like") talk about this once. He asked a girl out but was promptly told "I'm sorry, I'm dating Jesus right now." (a typical response for anyone who has taken even a semester of bible college or christian school.) Jon responded in his talk with:

"In order for me to get you to the Outback, I need you to dump Jesus?!"... "I just want a blumin-onion, thats an intense situation to get 'Yahway up in the mix' in!"

Jon gives a great satire post on his blog called "Dating God instead of me". Here are some of Jon's translations of common lines girls give guys. It'll make for a longer post but there just too good not to include. (my favorite is #5!)
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1. “We need to talk”
What this means:
Nothing good is going to come of this. When someone says this, they are never preparing to tell you compliments or praise your Frisbee skills. They are preparing to dump you.

How to respond:
Tell her, “I agree. There’s a lot on my heart that I want to discuss with you.” If you say this, you’ll completely confuse her. I promise. Part of the reason she is dumping you is probably because you’re not good at sharing your heart. She’s expecting you to nervously say, “What do we need to talk about?” By admitting there are issues and essentially saying, “I have my own secret things I want to talk about,” you completely level the playing field.

2. “Let’s meet at Starbucks.”
What this means:
She wants to dump you in public so that there will be roughly 97% less man tears involved. You might cry, you might get upset, but no one wants to do that in front of a Starbucks barrista.

How to respond:
Keep this simple. Just say, “I would love to meet at our Starbucks.” She wants to meet on neutral territory. Don’t let that happen. Personalize it.

3. “I think we’ve grown apart.”
What this means:
She has grown. You have devolved into some sort of potato chip-eating, XBOX-playing, non stop texting orangutan.

How to respond:
Tell her, “Thank you for noticing that I have grown. I disagree that it means we’re further away from each other but I have worked hard to grow. I appreciate your words.” She feels like you have changed in a negative way but is disguising it under the term “grown apart.” Call her bluff and thank her for the compliment she didn’t give you.

4. “God told me to end this relationship.”
What this means:
If God really told her that, there’s not much you can do unless you think you can battle the Savior of the planet for a dating relationship. But if she’s just using the Christian Dating Escape Clause, you can respond.

How to respond:
Say, “Isn’t that the beautiful mystery of God? He told me the opposite thing. But then I remember that in the Bible we are told to be like children in our faith but also to put aside childish things. Who can fathom the seemingly opposite wonders of His word?” Go biblical. She just threw the God card and the last thing she is expecting is for you to agree. Plus, using the Bible is going to make you look extra holy.

5. “We want different things.”
What this means:
She wants to date other people. You want to date her. Those are different things.

How to respond:
You’re going to have to go a little Garth Brooks in this situation. Say something like, “Do we want different things? I want love. I want to laugh. I want to serve someone and hold someone and know that the greatest parts of me were meant to bring out the greatest parts of her.” But if you can’t say that without giggling, just ask her to define what she wants. Don’t let some vague blanket statement suffocate your relationship.

6. “I don’t feel the things I used to feel.”
What this means:
Her emotional high has worn off. The initial spark has faded a little. In a good relationship this is where you get to see what it is really made of. In a bad relationship, it’s time to update your eharmony profile.

How to respond:
Say what a counselor would say, “Feelings lie. There are moments when I rise in the morning and don’t ‘feel’ like worshipping God. But in my heart, I make that decision. I feel different too. But love is not a feeling. It is a commitment.”

7. “I think I need to give this relationship up to God.”
What this means:
As mentioned before, sometimes when a retreat speaker tells the crowd to lay down something at the foot of the cross, your relationship is the first thing she will think of. So she decides to sacrifice it.

How to respond:
Say, “I want to give it up too. I want to turn in the pain and the struggles and the hurt of our old relationship. I want to mourn the time we’ve lost and celebrate the time we’ll gain by allowing God to grow a new relationship. We will rise from the ashes like a phoenix or a worship eagle.” OK, you probably shouldn’t say that last sentence, but you get the point. Agreeing with someone is sometimes the best way to end an argument.

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I love what Jon does. Using satire to create thought. In many ways I wish I were more talented like that. (makes I'm glad that there are men like him.) But regardless if this is addressed with satire or more direct. It's something that exists in the church that buries a lot of its own people. I remember having dinner at one of my pastors house with a number of other college kids. The pastor said off his cuff, "the number one question I get asked when girls learn I'm the college pastor is 'Why aren't there any good guys here?'" ...To this all the guys in the room erupted. "Where have they been??" and as the impulse responses formalized to more words, the stories of Guys (this is a group of only leaders btw) asking out girls and getting brushed off/rejected using some of these exact phrases started passing around the room. 

I tried to let Jon Acuff do the majority of the blog on purpose, Aka, he has the ability to speak with a better tone than I. (Especially in this arena.) I don't believe girls are even aware of what this is in themselves that is burning guy after guy after guy that may approach them. I hope this has spurred some new thoughts. I encourage you to have some conversations about this with your friends (coed I suggest). I also encourage you to explore Jon's blog for some more that he's written on this and other topics.