Failure. Ultimatum, punishment. not enough, never enough. woke up to find that all the things you work and strive never to be now you are. Character, honor and integrity stripped, becoming everything you lash out against in others. And where is sincerity??? well thats the only thing you have to help you sleep at night and we all know how well you do that. To see that those you love are better without you than with you. happier, fuller... less tangled and waited. but where did family go?? great @*&! So what is family than? is it really the farce that in denial some how you teased? and does fake fix anything. And when did good become sin? why are the good things the things that make me hate life? wanting to start over, new.... brand new. not for freshness and incentive, but for mercy. to loose everybody, not just the one... because everybody are part of the one... and you were, but now your not. and how did that happen??? well stop playing in the railroad tracks and you wont be hit by a train! Try and try, work and sacrifice to be and have Honor, to do right by those who deserve it... and what did it do... it took your honor and fowled the stench of everything that attempted preservation. and what's the advice... "your trying to hard" and what do I do then, don't try? yes cause that sounds like a working plan that has done so many so much good. *rolles eyes. But still, all that sacrifice ever did was take, not just what you thought you were protecting and building, but it cost the builder the build.
Used, spoiled... done. not enough, not worth the efforted  is the effort anymore. fighting the lie of being lied to. Family-blood-decission... are these conditional. today it seams they are. and what to do?? nothing. becoming the farthest one from the one you were closest with and smiling like your cool with that. And the dreams will see you fade out of frequency, like the dreams of the day have. your name will still be used in address but not in dialogue anymore. And what is the comfort to this? that the memories will not find you forgotten, but only syndicated never new. Is a notion of fondness acceptable? no, not really. but that doesn't mean that thats not what it is.