“…Anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” I don’t think it’s that Christ has a morbid sense of hummer (like me). But that he of all people fully understood what is required of a steward. We do not have a high priest who cannot sympathies with our weakness. Wherever we are…he’s been there. We can see when he prayed in the garden he was not comfortable; his spirit was not at peace. In fact he stated that he was “overwhelmed…even to the point of death,” and immediately followed with something…un-natural. “Everything is possible for you…not what I will but what you will !” He purposed himself to what he knew was right.
I memorized a quote a few years ago when I first saw Jesus as a savior and not as some detached Sunday school lesson. It’s by Elisabeth Elliot; she states that “the surrender of our hearts deepest desire is as close as one can come to understanding Jesus’ death on the cross.” Every so often my savior asks me to remember that quote with an “uncomfortable freshness.” (-as the “PG” version states) And every time he does I beg him not to bring it up again…but than I catch myself, and look back up at him and say “…but if you chose to, I hope that you’ll find me faithful.”
To me the definition of “Courage” is quite similar to surrender. Courage is: doing what you know is right, in spite of your fear. You see you must posses fear to even have the opportunity to be courageous. And to exercise that courage you must act above fear. The same is true for a disciple. You must act above the natural. Seeing what is right and doing it, even if it adds to your trouble or pain. Ryan Dobson states that:
[There’s a lot of dying for you and me to do. The kind that doesn’t stop your breathing or your heart…but it’s still dying. Funny how the bible insists on calling it that. It doesn’t say “adjust.” It doesn’t say “tweak you behavior.” It doesn’t say “modify your identity.” It doesn’t say “evolve your personhood.” It says DIE. And keep dying.]
This is a pretty heavy topic for me, I don’t like death…it hurts! Especially when the thing I must act above is emotions…I’m a very emotional person! (Insert woman joke here) But I always have quotes pop into my head telling me to “keep paying the price. Let God see that you’re willing to live up to the vision.” (-Oswald Chambers) And unfortunately “the Law of sacrifice means that one sacrifice seldom brings success” (-John C Maxwell) So many trustworthy people have a lot to say about real surrender, I wish I could organize it all into one deep thought.
The topic of surrender brings me to a deep spiritual and emotional crossroads which is usually when I fall faint and beg for mercy. And often God recites to me Jeremiah 29:11 “for I know the plans I have for says the LoRD, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” The bible shows us on every page that there is a controller. A very intentional one…and to me remembering that is usually when I receive the courage to direct momentum in the right direction.
Is your head spinning yet? Believe it or not this is the way my mind organizes things…scary Ah.
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