My life is random...my life is spastic. over here for a month; over there for the next. Not complaining, I like it like that. Its exciting. Thats how my entire adult life has been. since probably 14, 15, 16 somewhere in there. Its kinda the only perspective I have when I look forward. I had a really weird thought today though; I was thinking of a friend of mine, trying to see life from his perspective. it was cool, but weird. My life seams like I'm always getting ready to be going somewhere, but in my mind I never actually get there. Not literally, no I don't think like that. I just mean that thats the way my life looks. A perpetual journey.  Trying to put myself in his perspective I saw something totally different. he wasn't "trying to get anywhere." Not meaning that life was passing him by, but like he was where he was at and that was cool by him. It was very different to think of. I've considered before what "settling down" would look like. but only from an outside perspective. I don't know its cause he's "settled down" or not. And I'm not sure, regardless if thats what "settling down" is, I still don't know if I liked it, for me that is. It definitely had a beauty to it, not denying that. It wasn't without its excitement so it seamed. It was just different thats all. And I suppose I never thought to define my life that way....that I was always on my way somewhere but never got there. I don't know if I am headed somewhere specific, or if it is just a journey kind of thing. It's like a girl (stay with me) you chase her...but your never really supposed to ever catch her. thats half the fun. (hmm, couldn't think of anything to say after that, cause now I'm thinking of girls...oh well) right...life...perspective....perpetual journey, blah blah....so I don't know if thats a question I should even seek exploring. I like my life. I don't think I would be happier of I were to "settle down" In fact in allot of ways I'm worried that I wouldn't be happier. (NOT talking about girls anymore....don't extrapolate marriage into "settling down"....you can have both...call me a nieve optimist but yeah)...(great now I'm thinking of Girls again....A.D.D. is sooooo much fun hehe)...and...still stuck on girls...right life...the thought was interesting for sure, have I been chassing something. If so...what?? and will I ever catch it...maybe I'm not supposed to. what if I am supposed to but I don't...oh well. It was certainly an entertaining notion... and the rest of my day is now being spent (not thinking of girls) but deciding If I'm comfortable exploring the opportunity of being a pastor....wha!@#&*^!!!...thats my usual sentiment concerning the idea. I can be involved in ministry without being a shepherd. but is it better....is that what God has me in for?? I like the idea of NOT...and I may be stubborn, but not so much that I wont do it if I feel that thats what God has called me too. But thinking of most of the pastors I know, I want to be nothing like them. not that their bad guys, or even bad pastors...it's just not what I think I could do, or should do....blah...I should go back to thinking of girls...their the less frustrating topic for once