Inept, off, incapable, insufficient, defective.... unable to be... unable to change (?...) is change right? when every option offers hurt what can be right. chains that pile on scream to be thrown to the floor. but what will die in the process... some death is good. so are chains bad?!... But some death is just death...I have screaming in my ear....Ahhhh, soothing. Am I miss wired that that soothes me?! I would love fairy tale, but fairy tale doesn't love me... its not what my life looks like, its not real. Life us messy, scraggly, ugly... there is beauty; but i don't live there. I only get to visit. mmmm ...i like visiting! how come after a struggle you feel an empowerment of your perspective on the other side, but when another comes you feel small, insignificant, wrong even... and all you can think is, "Orgh...I don't have strength to do [this] again" I don't like hurting those I love ...easy button God? you created those too right....yeah....no....grrrrr. Blah, my computer is dusty, my room is messy my car is cluttered and there you have it, here I leave it...