There are two sides to our lives; the physical side (of which I include emotional and behavioral aspects) and the spiritual. The relationship between these sides of a persons life play a dance back and forth that can almost always be seen only in glimpses, but never do you see every spin dip or perorate. They change leads as they move around the dance floor. Sometimes intentionally but other times one simply goes where the music takes them and forgets the dance they started at the beginning of the song. There are times in the physical dimensions of our life that devastate, frustrate, or interrupt the spiritual. There are circumstances and things people do to us in life, invited or not that, that unlace the shoes of one or another and cause the other to carry a limp body across a glossy floor. Wether you agree with me about the relationship between masculinity and femininity or not, you'll likely agree that in a dance their needs to be a lead. Its logical to me that by design the stronger should lead, because if one needs to be carried across the floor at times they are better suited. This is the spiritual, for as little is seen and understood it is stronger. it has the ability to carry the tangent side of life when it crumbles faintly. If thats ever happen to you than you've seen that when nothing else is left we grab ahold of what we know to be true and real, wether we understand it or not we reach with everything we have! When we allow the spiritual to degrade because it was either counterfeit or neglected we cant grab the physical in the same way. I wont say that grabbing the physical is harder, because its not true, its actually easier. But not better.
I remember less than a year ago going through a time where I needed the spiritual. Not in a "got my daily food" kind of way. but I couldn't get through my day without the peace I found in scripture. The physical foundations and philosophies I built my life on were gone or changing. The spiritual side was the only steady, only real thing that could keep me from drowning. I remember relating this to one of my professors. He saw this part of my life through. And I remember a conversation in the middle of the swelling waves of a long storm, where I related to him how necessary it was to be just reading and reading in my bible. Literally if I hadn't sat and read in the last few hours I couldn't breath, Panic and clouds of dark dark depression set over my spirit. the time frames of keeping life together wasn't set in a day by day fashion but in a moment by moment hour by hour. It's nice not to be there any more. I like sitting on the floor instead of living there. walking instead of wallowing. I don't enjoy the process of picking myself up off of the floor. but the necessity of Gods words to guide each breath... inhale.... exhale; is missed. without a reliance on it I find myself drifting in the dance. letting the weaker to lead. dragging the large figure of the stronger side laid limp on its quivering frame still trying to make it look natural.
Have you ever had a close friend, and during a season, you txt occasionally, you leave a message here or there but you find yourself one day realizing that you haven't sat still and looked deep in their eye and sought to understand more of them, to BE with them. Feeling your life connected again. It's been months since I've had more then the few cordial TXT messages that go on between me and my savior. Allot of blogs,. or writings draw to a close making sure to leave the reader with a tidy bow wrapped around the thought. "God is amazing...blah blah." ... and he is. I'm just saying that real life at the end of the day looks more like the frail dance partner trying to get out off the floor with whatever dignity they can... and so for my grand exit; my malnourished partner and I will bow out with a smile, and grab some fresh air...
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